The Trouble with My Negativity | Ready to Ramble

Ready to Ramble is a blog feature here on Tomebound
where I discuss or, to be more accurate, ramble on about a wide array of topics regarding books.
Hey people! 
Here I am again with another Ready to Ramble post. I just want to air this one out because I have been feeling anxious in the past few days. Yes, from the title of this post it is going to be a little dreary and whiny so please bear with me. I have been feeling a swirl of emotions lately and I just can’t air out to anyone outside of the bookish community. I know that it sounds dramatic, but that is the reality of the situation.
January 2015 started with the worst reading slump I’ve ever had. Seriously, I was DNFing books like it was nothing and I kind of hated that feeling (and myself). I had this self-imposed pressure to read as many books as I can because of my reading performance in 2014 and when I failed in the first month, I was like setting myself up for failure with thoughts of giving up on reading entirely.
Then February came and I was filled with hope. *cue in a ray of sunshine* However, the first week passed by and I only finished one book. I was hoping to get that same rush of reading adrenaline, but I didn’t. I tried reading some popular fiction, but the size of the book scared the heck out of me, so I opted for smaller books. Then the short novel I finished ended up disappointing me beyond measure (I don’t even want to think about it, much less mention it here).
If that wasn’t bad enough, I had this twisted and disgusting jealousy of people who were having more followers on Instagram and various social media accounts. This is when something inside of snapped. I honestly entertained the thought of quitting the blogging community, Bookstagram, and anything related to reading and books (I know it’s very dramatic, but it is true). I actually quit my 2015 Goodreads Reading Challenge because I didn’t want the pressure.
Thankfully, my mind rebooted itself and I slowly pulled my shit together. Practically all of the sensible and obvious answers you were yelling at me while you were reading this post, came to my noggin when I calmed myself down. That slight mental breakdown helped me get back to the roots of why I created a blog, a Bookstagram account, and my entire love for novels and stories. It reminded me that it is my passion and not something I did for popularity and for being trendy.
I will encounter this anxiety again down the road. I know that I am going to feel guilty, jealous and angry with myself all over again because of petty things, but I will try to constantly move past it, even if it takes a lot of time and effort.
Have you experienced and/or thought of such negative things? How did you cope up with it? Please comment down below what you did to move past it. 


4 Comments Add yours

  1. I know how you feel, Kevin! I always feel jealous of popular bloggers and readers, and especially those who never seem to get into reading slumps and just go on and on reading all the books!

    The sad thing is, there will probably always be jealousy and envy in the bookish community. We all have our ways of dealing with it (like I could go MIA from the bookish world for a few days), and ultimately, I think our passion for reading will pull through in the end. 🙂

    I hope you keep staying positive, Kevin!

    Aimee @ Deadly Darlings


  2. Kevin says:

    I think it is inherent in every human being to feel jealous of someone else's success (whether intentionally or unintentionally). The important thing is that we don't use it in a negative and harmful way.

    I will forever keep on trying! Thanks Aimee!!! 😀


  3. I get a little jealous now and then. But I try my best to shrug it off (not easy though)… I just remind myself that I blog because I like to talk about books and share my love of them to people. 🙂

    One positive thing that jealousy brought to me, I think, was the need to come up with new ideas for the blog. Haha! So yeah… 🙂

    Just what Aimee said, stay positive!

    Btw, I liked the PLL gifs! 🙂


  4. Kevin says:

    I agree! I am trying to use those negative thoughts in a productive manner (such as the post above).

    PLL is just awesome and I am so glad you enjoyed the gifs!



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